Updated: Oct 2
Oh Gosh, my last newsletter positively backfired!
After having written about my decision to stop chasing after the possibility of higher education this year, adhering only to a self-paced online learning, reading books and cultivating a peaceful environment at home, my throat flared up. I couldn't speak, I couldn't swallow and I succumbed to a nasty cold. You can't fool the body.
What was I really avoiding?
It's been an interesting week, facing my fears, self-doubt and the desire to hide....
See, the throat is the avenue of self-expression, creativity, integrity and manifestation.
I know that a paper saying that I Mastered something is not gonna better my personality, suddenly give me greater confidence or rise me to fame... That being said, having no structure for applying my intelligence and bringing my gifts forward with assurance in public would have exhausted my time nonetheless.
What's the culprit here?
The energy behind everything we do, or don't do, determines the final outcome.
Check with your body. What are you truly avoiding? Are you afraid of the unknown?
The energy of fear is tracherous...
Have I chosen to study out of fear of not being good enough and the desire for a paper to prove otherwise, I'd be surprised that it did anything but that.
If I chose not to go ahead with it out of fear for not being able to repay the government loan, not having enough time to study, not managing my stress levels or generally, doing the wrong thing, my low self-esteem would make sure that the coming year turns unproductive, uneventful and not move me any closer to my long-term goals. Thus, what I really, really want is NOT a degree, of course. It's the opportunities this degree could open doors to! I must reverse-engineer the process and see the bigger picture.
It's time to listen to the spirit messages from Spiders, Squirrels and Ladybugs!
You're not lost, but only a dead fish goes with the flow
Self-doubt and feeling like a lost soul prevent anyone from reaching for the stars. How to pay attention to what we've got now, savor the moment but without stagnation -
Read the full version on my blog here or scroll down to read an excerpt.
You're not lost, but only a dead fish goes with the flow...
What does it mean to be lost? To not have short term goals? A stable job? To not own your own house? To be single and looking? To be in a relationship and feeling confused?
Why do we always doubt ourselves and our journey? Why should there be a particular path that is the opposite of lostness? Is there a recipe for foundness?
If there is one, in my experience, it's this: Lose yourself in the deepest darkest abysses of your soul, try everything there is to try, confuse yourself to the point that you don't know who you are anymore, get rid of all material possessions, grieve over the people who came and went, pitty yourself for your smallness and then.... instead of letting it go... just welcome it. Look at yourself in the mirror and welcome what you see with an open heart and an open mind. Welcome this place of lostness, the ground zero, welcome it with joy! Laugh at your seeming shortcomings, at your colourful past, at your random way of living your amazing life, and welcome the unknown. No one quite knows who you are unless you tell them who. Rewrite your story. Creating from nothing is oftentimes the most profound. Lost is the new found.
Boldly follow your confusion!That's the green light you've been waiting for.
Going with the flow and adjusting to life events as they randomly happen or - creating by default the things that we want to happen?
What would your life look like if you trusted the people who cross your path without a seed of doubt?Does influencing our destiny require sticking to a timetable and never detour the entire lifetime?
For that, I need some serious mindset shifts!
What would your life look life if you trusted the people who cross your path without a seed of doubt?
We must trust our hunches.... moreover, the body never lies.... keep checking with your body frequently.